March 2, 2022

If you don’t value yourself, how can you expect others to

I don’t know about you but whoosh and we are already in March 2022. How on earth did that happen? Answers to my inbox please!

On the Box PR calendar February’s quote is from Marc Parent – “If January is the month of change, February is the month of lasting change. January is for dreamers… February is for doers.”

This quote really resonates with me, as I like to think of myself as a doer.  Not wishing to blow my own trumpet but I am generally someone who gets things done, I am a problem solver and if you are looking for your lost front door key I am [usually] the person to call. Doers are those whose first response is yes, then who should count to five – pause – and then after reflection may actually manage to say no.

Now whether Sonja and Sharon (the duo who founded Valuable Content Writing Club) are mind readers or it’s just a coincidence, but last month’s writing exercise was about superpowers, where we had to write about what we consider ours to be, and what do others always ask of us and therefore what they consider ours to be. I consider myself a doer and a fixer. Others often ask me to help or for advice when it comes to getting things done, perhaps they consider me a doer too?

Well, she’s got some self-confidence you might say, but actually, the reality is quite the opposite. You see as a doer/fixer/problem-solver, you often get asked to help out, to do tasks and therefore it’s in my nature to say ‘yes’ rather than ‘no.’

Lou, you are ‘into marketing’ can you just read through this? Lou, you are ‘into marketing’ I’m running this event what do you think of this? Lou, you are ‘into marketing’ the person who was running our social media is away can you help? Lou, you are ‘into marketing’ and do this for work, please can I pick your brain? Before you know it, it’s yes yes yes yes and you are operating at max capacity. But, at what cost.

It got me thinking, is being a doer/fixer/problem-solver a weakness? When I go to say ‘no’, I always feel the need to justify my reason, which is mostly personal and therefore could be taken as being selfish, so, therefore, the easiest option [at the time] is to say ‘yes’ so perhaps in this context, saying ‘yes’, is a weakness. Oh hello, my superpower is a weakness. Surely not possible.

So, let’s separate out things.

On one hand, there are my clients, who [I know] are the best, we have an agreement and a scope of work, we have a price [value for my time] for that work and together we achieve. I am not an avid clock watcher, and whilst I track my hours, it’s give and take, some months I do more some months less. I am flattered to be approached by companies with new work opportunities. Some progress to be clients and some don’t. It’s important to remember we are not and cannot be right for everyone and that’s ok. As a doer that takes some getting used to.

On the other hand, there are opportunities outside of work, the ones that pull on your heartstrings, the ones you are passionate about being involved with, helping friends, the community, a local organisation or a pastime that needs extra resources. Those that need some social media advice, some pointers for sponsorship, or promotion and event organisation, that as a marketer are seen as something that comes naturally to you. Well whilst it may do, it’s also something I work hard at and invest time and money in. You see value is defined as the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. So, when you are approached to ‘help’ you are a means to helping them achieve their goal now this might also be part of your goal, so the lines can get blurred, that’s why it’s good to count to five – pause and think! Do I have time? Am I passionate about this? At what cost to me will saying yes come at? Whilst we don’t all ask or need praise; we deserve respect and appreciation for the value of our experience and knowledge.

Remember to say thank you when it’s due. Understand when someone is helping you at no monetary cost, but their time.

Note to self…

Respect yourself. Value your time. Know it’s ok to say no [without having to justify your response].

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